It's the Devil's way of robbing us of each other, of robbing you from me!
Today I saw tears in your eyes and imagined thousands of tormenting thoughts hidden behind your agonizing face. I saw and I knew, that you needed me, more than ever, to be (completely) on your side. It doesnt suffice for me to understand your fears, only to push them aside and then enjoy the rest of who you are. It doesnt suffice for me to watch you from a distance and say pious prayers whenever you tell me you hurt! No, it doesnt suffice!
Today I wanted to crawl inside you and feel your pain. To put my hand into that emptiness so that it would stop spreading. I wanted to be a part of you now. Havent I already am? I dont have any answers. I dont have any explanations on God's behalf...and I dont believe that He will reveal these to me in this life time. Today I learned that you needed my presence so much more than my intellect. You didnt need my smart philosophies about life, about love, about God...Yo only needed my presence and my silence! You needed my 'yes' and 'let's go' and 'I will be there for you'...You needed these most when I can mean them without having to actually say the words. You needed to believe that you are not alone in this 'impossible battle' against darkness. And beloved, you arent!
'What do you do when you are afraid?'
'What do you do when you miss me?'
'Say your prayers to heaven and I will hear you!'
'But you are not God!'
'I will still hear anyway!'
I promise I will be there for you.
Anna.