I am back here again, to write. I told you last week that I felt like I had been living rather than writing lately...and it wasnt a lie. When I get to sit down to type about things like this, you can be sure that I am finally serious. Not giggling, not trembling all over with nervousness, not pushing you away just because I need some space to grow up first. Childishness is this bubble I am still sleeping in. And perhaps you are too gentle to pop it for me.
I love Dennet' favourite song, the one you showed me yesterday. I love how the words were just like cool crystal rolling off her heels and I remember she sang about the sun...I didnt understand the last bit...the bit about enjoying the show. And then when you asked me later whether I knew what the whole song meant I realised that I didnt. Everything has been such a dream. That's what dreams are like isnt it? They seem so right but inexplicable. So there...I am not trying to rationalize you and us.
I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared but I don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
it’s bringing me down I know
I’ve got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
oh oh
Just enjoy the show
oh oh
I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
And I don’t know why
I’m so scared but I don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
it’s bringing me down I know
I’ve got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
oh oh
Just enjoy the show
oh oh
I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
And I don’t know why
And errily I feel like her, too. Somehow. Sometimes I cant seem to get enough of what you are...sometimes I am so scared I need you to slow it down--it's too much for me.
But I still cant wait to spend some more time with you! Last yesterday at Mac when you really opened up and you told me that I didnt need to tell you that something I wanted to tell you. Thank you Den. I treasure moments like that the most, too. And then at the locker when you said that even if things dont work out could we at least be friends still. You know what? YES. Friends!
But you have already asked and I have already said yes and first official is still on this Wednesday. Cant wait to be there for you. I am going to tell Mom how excited I am and she is going to laugh at me again!
But I still cant wait to spend some more time with you! Last yesterday at Mac when you really opened up and you told me that I didnt need to tell you that something I wanted to tell you. Thank you Den. I treasure moments like that the most, too. And then at the locker when you said that even if things dont work out could we at least be friends still. You know what? YES. Friends!
But you have already asked and I have already said yes and first official is still on this Wednesday. Cant wait to be there for you. I am going to tell Mom how excited I am and she is going to laugh at me again!